Anger Management: Dealing with the Subject of Despise
In today’s life anger is one of the most important emotional problems, which has negative impacts on all sides of our life and health. It has impact on our learning, relations, sleep, skin, digestion, and thinking processes, but these are only some of its losses. So it is necessary to learn some skills to manage and control our anger.
First of all we have to know it is our belief system which creates anger. The angry person always blames others for his/her mistake or for the difficult situation which he is faces. The angry persons believe they have the right to punish others, they way they like.
Here are some ways to manage our anger:
1. While getting angry we have to review our expectation:
Anger is always the result of an expectation, which has not been satisfied. For example we expect other cars in road to give us a way for crossing the road if not we get angry, in such cases we have to think am I right? Was it my turn? Was my signal green or not?
2. We have to consider ourselves in the situation of people which we are angry with:
If someone’s action makes us angry we have to think whether if we had the same situation, education, e family background, and intelligence level wouldn’t I do the same?
3. Avoid immediate response:
While we get angry we have to avoid immediate response. We have to try to delay response and reaction as much as possible, because in that situation we do not have the ability to distinguish good reaction from bad reaction.
4. Self awareness:
If we have the ability of self awareness and we know why we got angry in a specific situation we will be able to manage our anger. For example if someone makes a joke which makes us angry, if we are aware of our self we will understand why we got angry while no one else did.
5. Changing our expectation:
If we change and reduce our expectation from others we will be able to manage our anger.
If the above mentioned techniques do not work we can use this amazing technique:
1. Think of a thing or action which you were angry about
2. Draw a table
3. In first column write what exactly happened – it should be completely neutral
4. In second column write the reason which made you angry.
For example, “I saw my younger brother wasting time by chatting on social media and I shouted and told him go and do his homework.”
5. In third column analyze the anger:
Example: Was he really wasting time and was I sure he had not done his homework? If yes, does this way of telling help him to do his homework? What causes him to not be interested in studying, etc?
If we write a few cases of our anger in such a way it will help us to be aware next time and manage our anger.
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