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Parenting Essentials: Building an Infrangible Nexus of Warmth and Trust

Submitted by on October 30, 2016 – 12:13 AM

1Two individuals from different backgrounds,upbringing,education,lifestyles and distinct personalities come together to make a family. A family which they, despite being disparate, dream to be an ideal one. Before life gives them a chance to understand and establish the same pace with each other, in a society where peer pressure plays a major role in people making decisions, those two individuals in no time enter into another phase of life known as parenthood.

Innocently enjoying the new experiences of life , yet struggling to manage, they try to put everything in place. Caught in the glittery, glamorous fast paced world’s race, it becomes every parents dream to put their kids in the best schools and colleges to achieve all the privileges of a well educated  financially strong individual. But is that it? Does fulfilling these mere aims fulfill the duty of being a parent? Are we parents raising the best kids?

Why is there an increasing trend of parents who are dissatisfied by their children’s attitude? Why do most children grow up to disown their parents ? Are they not good children or were they not good parents? We see both sides pointing fingers at each other at times.

The solution lies at its roots. Parenting is the process of supporting and promoting the emotional, physical, social , financial and intellectual development of a child from infancy to adulthood.The meaning of the word ‘ parenting’ explains itself why we as a society, fail to raise the best children . The title brings with itself a huge responsibility to fulfill, in the respective areas.

What most of the parents despite trying their best end up doing, is what the society subconsciously makes them do. It’s the race , the competition which we all end up in. The urge to have their kids in best schools , the long late working hours takes away the time they could talk and laugh ,make that ever lasting bond.

The emotional support which they could give was replaced by a fancy flashy screen to tap on, the physical presence was replaced by a hired maid who happens to be just another being in the room. The bedtime stories, the experience sharing, the laughs ,the hugs all being slowly drifted away replaced by these worldly things of no worth .

Childhood is the most significant part of ones life, it plays an important part in shaping us into who we are today. Before one enters into parenthood , parents should give a significant amount of time to learn about what it takes to fully justify the title.

Here are some simple changes one can adopt for better results .

1.What you do, matters! Remember children are like a sponge, they observe and learn each and everything you do. You will have to behave how u want your child to behave. Parents can’t lie to others and teach their kids  not to do the same. There is one simple rule that works here, teach what you preach.

2. Be involved in your child’s life.
Juggling with work life and home, this becomes the most difficult thing for parents these days. But one has to make a conscious effort. Talk to your children, know their likes and dislikes. Doing their chores is not being involved.  According to a study, children hailing from families wherein parents  actively participate in their child’s academics do better than children who are just put into good schools but lack parental involvement.

3.Adapt your parenting to fit your child.  All kids of different ages react and behave differently, parents need to constantly keep catching pace with their kids.

4. Establish and set rules. Parents should make their children realize that being organized, having a certain level of discipline in life is not a punishment . Every set of rules should be reasoned and justified with an explanation for the child’s acceptance.

5.Foster your child’s independence. Setting limits helps your child develop a sense of self-control. Encouraging independence helps them develop a sense of self-direction. To be successful in life, they are going to need both.”

6.Be consistent. Being inconsistent with a statement, a rule or a habit confuses a child . It makes them think its easy to change your initial stance and eventually you lose control over the situation something psychologist put it up as negative reassurance.

7.Treat your child with respect. “The best way to get respectful treatment from your child is to treat them respectfully,” Steinberg writes. You should give your child the same courtesies you would give to anyone else. Speak to them politely. Respect their opinion. Pay attention when they are speaking to you. Treat them kindly. Try to please them when you can. Children treat others the way their parents treat them. Your relationship with your child is the foundation for their relationships with others.

Some of these simple yet challenging habits, if incorporated into one’s parenting style can prove to show significant results. If we be better parents to our kids, they will eventually grow up to be even better parents to their kids and the cycle continues.

All we need to do is stop . Stop for a moment from the chasing, struggling and catching up with the world’s pace and reevaluate what matters,what needs our most time and spend all our attention and  energy towards it. And yes of course nothing is more important than the untouched , innocent souls who have just entered this world ,who we refer to as our ‘children.

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